Work

FCB Health

Senior Copywriter 2023-Present

Worked pre-launch on IPTACOPAN, we got fired.
Worked on unbranded COMIRNATY, we got fired.

Publicis Groupe

Copywriter 2020-2022

Healthcare started booming, not sure why.
Went from being on contract to an HSA plan.

TLG NYC (IoT platforms)

Product Marketing 2016-2019

Emailed people of various emotional states.

March Partners LLC (finance)

Project Manager 2014-2016

Mitigated risk by bothering traders daily.

Study

Miami Ad School

Copywriting

Paid my part in keeping the lights on.
Worked late on campus keeping the lights on.

Claremont McKenna College

Government

Acknowledged the 6th most expensive tuition.
Witnessed school's Forbes ranking go from 9th in America to 11th.

Wikipedia

Reader 2001-Present

Did you know that the origins of the word "sycophant" are up for debate?

Non-Awards

Social

Averages the most questions asked a day.
Gets along great with friends' significant others.

Personal

Oyster consumption: off the charts.
Put Movie Pass out of business.
Successfully no longer fluent in Armenian.

Competitive

Won a ticket lottery for a Taylor Swift concert.
Top-notch teammate in boardgames.